“996” is a term that’s been going virus recently on the Chinese Internet, which refers to a work schedule that goes from 9 A.M. to 9 P.M. for 6 days a week. Although the long work hours is not legally supported, many emerging tech companies in China are reported to have this unwritten rule as a part of the work culture. Since I’m graduating soon and will be looking for a job back home in China, working extended hours has been one of my concerns as I’m not sure how would I handle it. Moreover, I believe having to cope with stress at work while balancing work and life is a source of anxiety, which is worth discussing as we care about mental wellness.

Working long hours in the highly competitive industries is not a phenomenon existing only in China, which I believe the U.S. workforce can also relate. Both CNN and Fortune reported on Jack Ma’s view regarding 996, which he stated that “I personally think that 996 is a huge blessing”, because many people are even unemployed and that one cannot achieve anything without making extra effort. He also claimed that people who are passionate about what they do will not feel the pain of working overtime, only the ones that do not find their work meaningful do. And if you don’t like your job, even regular working hours make you suffer.

I’ll have to disagree with Jack Ma because his statement has an underlying assumption that everyone is supposed to love what they do. However, the reality is that most people do not have their true passion as their occupations, most of us have to work for paying rent and supporting the family. If one is reluctant to work 996, it also doesn’t mean the person doesn’t like the job. It’s like I enjoy working out 3 times a week, but if you ask me to sweat 3 hours a day I probably have to unfriend you. Having passion for what you do should not be the excuse for working extended hours. Also, I don’t think CEOs should demand the same level of passion from their employees. Being able to do what we love for living is a blessing, but the truth is that not everyone is fortunate enough to achieve that.

Even though we can go on and on talking about passion and purpose in life while blaming the CEOs for oppressing employees, we have to acknowledge that the capital market recognizes only efficiency and money. U.S. factories are moved to China because the labor here works for much lower payment and get more things done. And they will move to Vietnam and other countries as labor costs rising in China. The reality is that most of us do not have a choice but working harder while we can.

So you may wonder, how do we balance work and life as young adults? Especially when the general expectation is that young people need to work harder than their peers to have some level of success. Personally, my best solution is to do your best without risking your health, and be sure to actually learn something from the additional hours you out into work. As people are moving on from worrying about putting food on the table, seeking other life purposes such as spending time with family has become more important in one’s life, although trying to balance out work and life might be a constant battle in our life.

Although knowing how to boil eggs and be single is more important than learning how to be happy, according to Google search, it’s clear that happiness is among our most wanted subjects. Maybe not everyone would agree, but being happy is the ultimate goal for many of us as human beings. When I was in elementary school, teachers would threw questions like “what do you want to be when you grow up”, and I remember answers like “I want to be a writer” and “My dream is to be a scientist”. Yet, no one asked “what makes you happy”, like people assume that when you have a job that pays well, happiness will appear magically. I think we’re now old enough to realize that is not true.

Happiness is an elephant in the room. A famous quote from Henry Thoreau goes “The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.” Even though it’s not as bad as depression, it’s certainly not happiness. Schools don’t teach class on happiness, though there’re consultations you could seek when you’re truly depressed, but why wait till the last resort? Happiness is a complicated subject, unlike math and science which we know there’s a solution, finding happiness and even just talking about it could get very personal, and certainly there’re different standards to everyone’s happiness. While this blog won’t make you happy, though it would be great if you do, it is to remind us to be more aware of what we’re looking for in our life, and don’t give up in finding happiness the elephant.

I was confused when found out need to write 10 blogs on a favorite subject. I suddenly realized that I don’t have anything that I’m so enthusiastic about. After talking to myself for a few days, I came to the conclusion that I will be working on finding my passion, but one thing I do know is that I want to be happy. Now that I’m more honest with myself, it is no longer embarrassing to admit that I do not know what I want to do in the future, yet. And it shouldn’t be a shame to be honest, finding a passion could be a lifetime goal instead of something we lock down in our 20s.

While looking for my favorite thing to do will be a continuous journey, I am sure about what I don’t want, which is as same as Mr. Scamander from the Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald (2018). It would absolutely kill me if have to work in a cube from 9 to 5 everyday, and it doesn’t matter if that cube is in the middle of wall street. And I truly hope my fear won’t come true.

Positive Psychology: The Science of Happiness is given by Tal Ben-Shahar who is a psychology professor at Harvard. He talked about there are too many discussions on stress and depression, but not enough on joy and happiness. And it would be more helpful if we focus on what works instead of what doesn’t work, which is also why this blog takes a break from talking stress. It’s also a good point that he mentioned that being aware of finding happiness doesn’t mean we will never be upset or stressed out, it just mean that when we do, recovery will come easier and quickly. I also believe that when we can better help ourselves, people around us will also be affected positively.

The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel is a drama series I’d give to my daughter to watch although you hear 300 “Fuck”s in one episode. I fell in love with this show after watching for 20 minutes, and now that I’m halfway through season 2, the obsession is real. Other than forcing my imaginary daughter to watch it, I would also recommend all my friends to give it a try. While the leading character is a female, her situation could stimulate with anyone regardless gender, and her spirit is worth learning from.

In the 1950s New York City, Mrs. Maisel was cheated on by her husband whom she had two kids with. While struggling to get through her life crisis, Mrs. Maisel discovered her passion for stand up comedy. At the time, it wasn’t a common scene for women to be on the stage and telling jokes. Coming from a wealthy Jewish family with her father teaching at the Columbia University, Midge (Mrs. Maisel) was taught to be, and has been, a housewife in which becoming a comic could cost her family to disown her. Yet, she kept going and I found many of her acts motivating, thus, would love to share them with you.

Though she was talking as a woman in the 1950s, the things she said still apply to what is happening today. As a beginner to comics, Midge spoke up for women whom she associated herself with — women whom were oppressed by social norms, women whom were treated differently from men, in a not so positive way. Midge encountered many mistreatments, cruel judgement and refusals as a female comic. And here’s how she responded. “Why do women have to pretend to be something that they’re not? Why do we have to pretend to be stupid when we’re not stupid? Why do we have to pretend to be helpless when we’re not helpless? Why do we have to pretend to be sorry when we have nothing to be sorry about? Why do we have to pretend we’re not hungry when we’re hungry?”

I was moved by how strong she was after the devastating change in her life. The fact that she didn’t give up, but stood up and spoke for herself despite facing all the limitations as a female. This show is not produced for women only, I believe anyone that ever felt they were at a disadvantage could resonate with her situation and words. Perhaps, you felt this way at one point as an international student living abroad. The feeling of disappointment and helplessness is overwhelming, especially when we’re in a foreign culture, which is why I want to make us comfortable to talk about the struggles here with my blogs.

When feeling like the minority or at disadvantage in a group, we question ourselves: Am I weird? What should I do to be like everyone else? Midge was weird, so are we. But why be like everyone else when you are unique in your own way, so be weird, and stay weird. Often time when discouraging things happen, all we need is a little shot of confidence, so here is a friendly reminder to you, and to myself.

As my Blog is dedicated to addressing mental health among millennials, I imagine my readers have interests in knowing what aggravates stress from my personal perspectives. Social media has been accused for leading to a rising depression rate among young adults since social posts tend to only show the highlights of everyone’s life. When seeing a friend diving in Maldives on Instagram, I’d think to myself, maybe I should go diving somewhere instead of writing a blog for my marketing class. Speaking of marketing, social platforms are inevitably used as a powerful tool in this digital age, yet, the downsides of socials are rarely mentioned. Thus, we’ll be talking about that in today’s blog as well as how we could handle the less cheerful impacts of social media.

While the negative influence of social media are not limited to international students, I’d like to give attention to my fellow Chinese friends who I share feelings with. Studying abroad alone is a challenge for everyone, and sometimes the most difficult thing to overcome is mental. When we’re first introduced to a foreign culture where the language is unfamiliar, and we don’t have friends and family to support us, any ordinary task could seem challenging. I remember my first week in the U.S., ordering a salad at school cafeteria was a total nightmare – imagine looking at all different colors of salad dressing and not knowing the names while 20 hungry people waiting behind you. My solution was to say “please give me the green one” and praying it better not tastes like grass.

Though ordering food is not be a big deal, when small things add up, I’d feel stupid, helpless, and occasionally, very stressed. While most of the time I felt happy as I was away from my parents whom used to negatively affect my stress level, I learned how to deal with my depressed self when living in a foreign culture, which I found social media not helpful. Very often when having the best time of my life I’d forget to check on my socials. And when I’m bored or being procrastinate from studying, I found myself on social media all the time. Perhaps you can relate, I became more stressed out when spending too much time on social platforms.

“Fear of missing out”, aka FOMO, is more contagious than flu, and we get lost in the imaginary world that doesn’t have much to do with our real life. A Forbes article points out that reducing time spent on socials to 30 minutes could decrease loneliness and depression significantly and it doesn’t require one to cut off socials completely. Even scrolling on Instagram is an easy alternative to reading a book or going to the gym, I’d suggest we all paying attention to where we spend our time. Try taking a walk outdoor or calling a friend, have a real conversation with people you genuinely care about, and remember to not compare your worst time to others’ bests. You might be surprised by how your mood shifts when life is not all about social media.

The Quarter-life Crisis

You know you’re having a quarter-life crisis when you look at your cat and think “I wish I had your life”. Apparently, this is one of the signs that you are having a quarter-life crisis. Although it seems like a joke, some of us definitely thought about this at one point of our life. The Muse gives a more serious definition, calling it “a period of intense soul searching and stress occurring in your mid 20s to early 30s”. Young adults who constantly feel lost, depressed or empty inside could be suffering from a quarter-life crisis, which I believe is an issue underrated and deserves more attention from the public.

Why should we care?

Not only because we are in our 20s and life is hard, there have been so many heartbreaking cases happening around us as a result of stress and depression which are undeniably factors of the crisis. In the news today, Kelly Catlin, a 23 year-old Olympic cyclist and a grad student at Stanford University chose to end her life while people see her as a rising star whose life just started. The same tragedy happened to an NYU student merely 10 days ago. We also did not forget last year October an 18 year-old NYU international student jumped in front of a train.

As an international student myself, I find that mental issues are rarely mentioned among friends and family, and even with ourselves. The idea of depression seems intimidating and we tend to avoid facing such topics due to various reasons. Coming from a Chinese family, I do feel that our culture does not encourage discussion on dealing with mental problems. People who admit to have issues are looked down on as if they are abnormally ill, which we all know that is not the case. The overwhelming usage of social media today is also not helping when someone is going through a difficult time.

What will be on my blogs?

Depression, mental issues and quarter-life crisis are interrelated subjects, and the number of people who go through these problems are growing exponentially. I would like to focus the rest of my blogs on talking about stress and depression as well as how to handle negative feelings during this sensitive time. My plan is to interview students, professors and parents in my future blogs regarding the tough periods of time they have been through and how they managed the difficulties.

While I’m not a psychiatrist trying to figure out a perfect solution to solving mental issues, I do wish to promote discussions and raise awareness especially among international students. As we are living and studying abroad on our own and now entering the second year in grad school, stress come easily while we’re facing the next big life decisions as young adults. I hope that my blogs can serve as a support system providing a healthy platform where we feel comfortable talking about our stress and vulnerabilities, more importantly, how to conquer them like a Queen/King.

Allison Osborn, former CEO of a personal development and business coaching company talked about quarter-life crisis in her TED Talk. She pointed out that the Chinese character for “crisis” contains two parts: 危(danger) 机(opportunity). As we become more aware of the danger, let’s not neglect opportunities embedded in the challenging transitions because that is when a lemon turns to a lemonade.